I feel I will never belong....

It is a restless longing...a feeling of belonging to another world. One that is calling my name but I cannot answer. I am trapped... This world is one of pain and loss, tears and confusion. The world calling my name is one of exquisite peace...so beautiful and serene that it cannot be described. The apples there are sweet and crunchy, with no bruises or wormholes; the flowers the perfect blend of color and fragrance. There, a rainstorm is for dancing in, not a cause for fear. I get this sensation at times...on a mountain top...walking a beach with the waves chasing my footsteps...sometimes during the perfect calm immediately following a sudden summer storm. Often, a delicious happy-ending story will invoke the same loneliness. Only...it is not loneliness...or melancholy...or grief over what I have lost or perhaps never had. It is a restless longing. A feeling I don't belong though there be no other place for me. No...there is another world to which I belong...I can sense it...feel its soothing hold over me... But I am stuck. Trapped in a world where words no longer have meaning and there is no foundation for learning. My soul yearns to be free...though my heart is frightened. Someday I will escape to the world where expressions come in six senses, and vivacity is a way of life. Someday when I am no longer afraid...