anniversaries of life

Anniversaries of life...this will sound like a very odd title as you begin to read down the page. Life has many joyous anniversaries There are anniversaries of children's births into the world. There are anniversaries of two people becoming one in the sight of God. We celebrate the anniversary of Jesus' birth in Bethlehem. We celebrate the anniversary of our country's independence. These are all blessed and exciting things! My life has many such marked days. I have celebrated 19 years of life that God has given me. It is over 11 years now since God gave me new life in Him. My parents established our family 25 years ago. In a few days, it will be 3 months since I began a long-term relationship with my best friend; and it's about a month and a half since he asked me to be his wife. God has blessed me so incredibly!

But there are also bittersweet days, when what is remembered brings more tears than laughter. The end of this month brings such memories to my family. We remember my brother, Benjamin...my "middle of the family buddy"; my childhood partner-in-crime; my forever friend.

One year ago on the 16th of August, I spent the last full day I ever had with him. We had lots of fun, goofing off, teasing each other, and taking family pictures before my sister left for college. One year ago on the 17th of August, I said goodbye to my brother (the hardest day of my life up to that point) and began the journey to my own college campus. That day was the last time I ever heard his voice. I didn't want to go. I know he didn't want me to go. But I went, believing that was what God wanted me to do. As I hugged him goodbye I told him "I'll be home before you know it." His reply? "I hope so." And that was the last thing I ever remember him saying.

I started college, meeting new friends and trying not to be too homesick. One year ago this coming Saturday, at about 11-ish at night, I received news my brother had started coughing and could not breathe. The ambulance had come and rushed him to the hospital where he was put on a breathing machine. See, the cancer that filled his body had finally begun closing off the passage to his lungs. One year ago Sunday, I was rushed home by my church, desperately trying to make it in time to say goodbye. I almost didn't. I made it there really early on the 25th of August, and held his hand all the rest of the morning. He was pretty conked out from sedatives, but he squeezed my hand goodbye before he left. He'd held on that long for me to get home.

One year ago this coming Monday morning, my brother said hello to Jesus for me.

And now, his picture on my wall displays a face so familiar and yet so strange at the same time. I have lived and changed. He has truly lived and will never change.

So why did I call this an anniversary of life? Maybe because my life will never be the same since that day. Maybe because my brother gained life one year ago, August 25th 2013. Maybe because, since that day, God has poured life back into our family through our church, Jackson Hole Bible College, and the three godly young men joining the family by marrying Benjamin's three sisters.

Anniversaries...they are sweet or bittersweet, depending on the memory attached. I will laugh or cry, depending on the emotion of the memories. But they will always be anniversaries of life, because Jesus has given me Life.

So maybe think back with me...what are the anniversaries in your life? How has God been faithful to you? Can you rewind your memories to days full of laughter, or overflowing with tears? Do you see Him there with you? He's there. Maybe look a little harder. :)